look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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