he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
