Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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