we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
