My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
