why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
