She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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