the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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