Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
