So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
