I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
