She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
