it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
