Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
