Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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