Where did you get a picture of my penis
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Randomize
