Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
