apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize
