can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
