It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
