i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
