I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
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