playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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