so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
