a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
