Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
