I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
