dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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