Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I have aggressive nipples.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
