Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
