Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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