dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize