you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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