did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
