I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
