Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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