whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
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