you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
