He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
