Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
