walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
