Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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