I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Randomize
