we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I smell stomach acid.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
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