And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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