Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
