Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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