I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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