Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
