first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
