Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
