Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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